Fear. I am always afraid of nothing ever working out.
Terrified of bad things going even worse.
Petrified that I will end up nothing.
Scared everything will go wrong.
Life collapsing down suddenly.
Everything becoming nothing.
Nothing being well.
Never ever.
Fear.
Stupidly afraid.
Of stupid things.
Stupid life things, always.
I'm not afraid of actual scary thing

REDIn red marker
Love is scrolled across your wrist

Today you exclaim how you will do anything you can to
Prevent Suicide

Today I stand atop the edge of a chair recalling your words...
Kill yourself
You have nothing to loose
No one will miss you...
I pull my face through the noose, it scrapes my face and passes
Salty tears drench my scratches, replicating the pain I've felt my whole life
With the swift jab of my foot the chair falls
I only feel the tug at my throat for a quick moment, then
nothing.

Just yesterday you carved
Useless
on my soul

Today you wrote love on your arms

NoNo, I am not okay
No, I will not be okay
Nothing you can say
Will make this pain go away

No, I am not fine
No, I will not be fine
Maybe this is all just a sign
That for him I should not pine

No, I am not all right
No, I will not be all right
I cannot sleep at night
For my regrets are in my mind's sight

Yes, this will take time
Yes, lots of time
All I want is one last stime
To convince myself he's not slime

Fake SmileWhat is a smile?
The first thing many people would say is that it represents happiness.
But what if I told you it was the complete opposite.

How am I suppose to expect others to accept me if I can't even accept myself?
I struggle every day trying to hide all my flaws.
But it's only natural for everyone to have some.
The only thing I can do to make myself look better in the face of others is to smile.

What is this feeling burning deeply within my heart?
Is it jealousy, hate, sorrow, despair or all of them combined?
I feel like my soul is chained away somewhere, struggling to brake free.
And I can't seem to find happiness in my life.

Little GirlYou saw me,
Broken under the tree.
I sat alone,
Trying to be my own person.
Trying to live without a crutch.
But I guess you looked through me,
And saw the broken little girl I am.

I wish you hadn't scooped me up.
I wish you hadn't started caring for me.
I wish I hadn't cared for you.

You saw me cry.
You didn't know how much baggage I carried.
What I had,
You could never deal with.
The baggage I carry,
Needs someone to be around all the time.

I've been neglected.
Ive been lied to.
Ive been left out on the street to fend for myself.
Ive been left to fight other peoples battles.

I just want to be my own person.
I want to no

My secretLet me tell you a secret
So listen carefully...
If you
if you take my hand
but let me lead
If you
If you would just trust me
when I say I'm not like them
If you
If you show me mercy
by wiping the tears of my cheeks when I'm sad
If you
If you let me feel home, safe and protected
just hug me tight and never let go
If you
If you would just have faith in me
Then I promise you one thing
I promise you will never ever have to be alone again
I promise you that love...

Have I become pretty yet?I dont know which way to go
Somewhere I strayed from the path
Tell me, why was it hidden from me?
It falls out from under me
Every turn its cold and dark
All around voices call to me
"Look at those clothes and that hair"
Covering my ears I hide
But soon they find me again
"Can you believe what 'they' ate?"
Laughing " Look, how much 'they' ate!"
All around voices call to me
Loudly screaming, always there
Even when I'm alone, they're there
Soon you believe those 'harsh words'
Echoing louder, louder
Paranoia grows inside
Every stare is judgemental
I eat but soon regret grows
Rushing to the near bathroom
Hiding in a stall, waiting
Physically, I am alone
But the voices never left
Regret makes me start to gag
Unable to take the feeling
Suddenly I start to puke
Unable to willingly stop
Slowly I go back to class
No one knows my dark secret
And I'll make sure no one does
Just the thought of food makes me,
Makes me want to hide and puke
But no one will know my sins...

SeriouslyWhy can't you see
What I see in front of me
You have a mirror
Look and see whats clear

Everything I love about you
Is written on your face as proof
Don't you understand
That you don't have to be grand

For me to love you and proclaim it
You don't have to go through all this shit
Because you are beautiful right now
Even with your face in a frown?

You don't have to conform
You don't have to fit into the 'norm'
So don't dirty the pages of your life
With societies magnetic strife

Put down that knife and blade
Extinguish the fire of pain
Your life is not the price to be paid
Your life is wiped of stains

I cannot be I-RobotSome days....
I wish I had the mind of a robot
I wish I had a computer brain
I could get things faster
And not look so stupid

I could remember things better
Do things right the first time
Instead of screwing up

I could create my own realm
My own little world that I could save
I could have the ability to push pause
And when I returned
It would all still be there

Minor details would always be clear
I could access things through dates
Numbers that I never understand would become more understandable
I could keep everything logged

I could write a book in my head
And plug in
To print it off and show everyone my brilliance
The br

DevotionAll alone,
The man in grey
Sits in the shadows
Every day.

Waiting...
Watching...
For his sweet love
To return to him.

Every day is always the same.
The man wakes up,
Out of bed,
And sulks through his routine.

First comes the slow,
Painful walk to the washroom.
He relieves himself, shaves,
And readies for the day.

Next comes his wait
In the kitches
While is coffee brews
And he gets on his shoes.

And then he's off
To his 9 to 5
Job at the office.
Biding his time to the end of the day.

And after work,
Every day, without fail,
The man makes his way
To the park.

The park where he proposed,
And his girl said yes.
The p

I Miss YouIt's been a year, but you're still constantly there
The memory of you and the pain you couldn't bear
No matter what I said or did I just could not get through
And now I'm forced to live every day without you

They tell me there's nothing I could have done
To stop the blade that cut your ties
But this hollow ache is making me come undone
All I want is you back by my side

I always keep your note right by my side
I read it over and over until I can only stare
I might not have known just how often you cried
But why did you think that nobody cared?

I Do Not Write PoetryI do not write poetry.
Period.
It does not work.
There are too many spaces
and holes
and seams
that I cannot fill
or cover
or mend
no matter how hard I try.
It is simply and irrevocably
impossible
to do anything
worth anything.
I cannot handle anymore
wrecked
and shattered
and broken
things that I
cannot control.
I can no longer control all these
imperfections that
infest
our world
and plague
our mind
because I am just
too darn weak
to be able to do this anymore.
Just
too darn

broken.

SixtyThere's nothing you can do
And nothing I could do
It's all over
Yeah it's all over
We can't start over
Can't do it over
It's too late for that
Too late for that now

It's always older
Never colder
But forever's over

We could run away
Run away
Yeah we could run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run away
We could run away
Go away
Run away

Come along out
Throw it around
Oh throw it about
We're all immortal
They're not immortal
Not immortal
Go away from here
Get away from here now

It's never older
Always colder
And forever's ever

We could run away
Run away
Yeah we could run away
Run away, run away
Run away, run aw

Middle ChildDo you feel hard done by,
with siblings young and old?
Do you sometimes feel,
Like your story's never told?

Do you really think you're judged,
by the order of your birth?
Do you think that's how they weigh
how much you're really worth.

The siblings that you have,
never should you despise.
For you're all truly equal,
in your parents' loving eyes.

Is It Really Worth It?Is it really worth it to bully some one?
To put someone down just so you can feel satisfaction,
To make someone feel so little of themselves.

Come on people,
You don't have to do that,
You don't have to beat someone up so you feel better.

Do you know that the words you say hurt?
Do you know that some people can't handle it?

You don't know that person,
You don't know what they are like.
It shouldn't matter what someone looks like on the outside,
Their personality is what matters the most
Because that shows who they are.

It is not worth it to bully.
It's not worth it at all.

If you don't like someone then that is your business,

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More from ~ashflee0

Hysterical          Blindly frenzied
       Gone utterly mad
   Absolutely crazy
And it's not exactly sad...

   Gone hysterical
        Out of your mind
     Can't even think
         Almost gone blind

         Blind from laughing
      Mad from tears
   Hope you're quiet enough
So that no one hears

   Once you've gone hysterical,

Color

When life becomes too boring

The best thing to do

Add a blip of color

And hope you make it through

Don't add to much

Just enough to supply

If you add too much

You may just drown and die

The ThirstThe thirst for money
The thirst for fame
The thirst for anything
That wont make them lame

The things that these people
Want to achieve
Are nothing less
Then they're own grieve

Their thoughtlessness of others
Doesn't bother them a bit
As long as they get famous
They don't give a shit

The more they get
The better they feel
They don't care for others
Just they're own appeal

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Calm.

by ~ashflee0, Sep 17, 2012, 8:02:00 PM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Traditional Fixed Forms

I am calm.
Not calm like a yoga instructor
Not calm like a lonely coroner in the morgue.
Not calm like a doctor telling someone they have an STD
Just calm.

Calm like the ocean on a cool summer night
Calm like a pilot flying his flight
Calm like a sociopath disposing of the remains.
Calm like an actor, acting this way.

Calm enough to burst into tears.
Quiet enough so no one will hear.
Weary enough, but I still never fear.
Never fear anything, ever, at all.
Never show emotion, so I'll never fall.

Calm like the air right after a storm.
Calm like the sound of an empty dorm.
Calm like a person, not alive anymore.
Calm.
So very calm.

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Calm.by ~ashflee0

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Submitted on: September 17, 2012
File Size: 827 bytes

Views: 250
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*Mabogunje Sep 19, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Wow, there are indeed different kinds of "calm." I like how you brought that out in this poem

~ashflee0 Sep 19, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thanks

~TeddyMannen Sep 18, 2012

Why are you so good at this!? D: I'm getting more and more jealous of you!~ *^*

~ashflee0 Sep 18, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

~MaryEvans Sep 18, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

I'm not sure I can provide a constructive comment about it. All I can say is I like it, I like the mood, the form of the text and flow of the words.

~ashflee0 Sep 18, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Thank you

~HungryGhosttt Sep 17, 2012 Student Writer

splendid.

~ashflee0 Sep 18, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

:3 thanks

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